Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan - 27

Yesterday was Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan -27. Went to school quite early, chat with Liz and Janice at the guard house, until teacher came and chase us into the hall. Gabe came a bit later, he was receiving award for his SPM results. Me and my friends were getting awards for our PMR results.

The ex-form 5's who were getting their awards were really funny. They were imitating the choir's moves, shouting out names of people, laughing at everything. All in all, it was quite fun having them there, though they were seriously NOISY. The parents were mostly amused, but some teachers looked annoyed. Who cares. I got a certificate, RM50, and a clock/pen holder. There was a Wushu performance, led by Wei Wern, violin playing and choir singing. Below are pictures of the event.

The first picture is me and my prize, my mum couldn't take a picture of me receiving it, she is absolutely hopeless when it comes to using a camera. The second one is Gabe receiving his prize, and the third is Gabe and his fellow friends. Below is the violin performance, Wushu and choir performance.

Ate mee goreng and other stuff after the performances. Was quite funny the way Liz's mum was concerned about Godwin not eating. All in all, it was a fun day. Poor Ramona was working most of the time, didn't get to chat with her. Well, that's about it then, ciao!!

-aNgELiNe-

*signing off*

Never Again the Same...

What a week!! Felt really tired throughout the week, STILL feeling tired. Had loads to do. Well, first things first, LEO I.U. Day is next week!! May 2nd to be exact. I simply CAN'T wait!! Those who haven't gotten their tickets, get them ASAP!! Hopefully it will be a blast!!!

Now, let's see, nothing much happened the previous week, mostly all regarding my parents. I hacked into my dad's email account, for he told me that he sent an apology email to my mum. So, being a nosy person like I am, I BADLY wanted to read it!! So, what do I do?? I hacked in, of course when no one was around, and read the whole thing. And boy did I get a shock!!! It was more of a LOVE letter than an apology letter!! No wonder he didn't want to tell me the gory details, and he was certainly being very distinct about it, which is HIGHLY unusual of him. Normally, he will tell me every single thing. Naturally, I told my brothers about it, more of let them read it for themselves.

Gabe was all like, 'I don't believe it, that is JUST WORDS, he doesn't really mean it.' Godwin was like, ' How can he love a devil??'. I just listened to them, and I was really in awe. I seriously cannot believe what he wrote. However, what really, really angered me was one particular sentence that he wrote, I quote, ' I do not seem to miss the children at all, I'm only thinking about you all the time.' Whoa!!! When I read that, I practically exploded. Plus, he can say 'AT ALL'!!! Meaning, he doesn't miss us not even the slightest bit?? HE was the one who kept saying all the time that the only reason he stayed so long was BECAUSE of me and my brothers. Now, you see why I am so damn angry at him??

The following day, I hacked in again, and I saw that my mum had replied. Her reply angered me so much, I didn't think a person could even be so angry. She listed 9 reasons, more like causes, that my mum doesn't love my dad anymore, and as far as I consider, my mum can't exactly say all of those things, for she doesn't even KNOW that she has been acting EQUALLY the same as my dad has been, or worse. But no, she just wouldn't hear it when I say she is also in the wrong. She blames everything on my dad. I used to protect my dad, but now, I just really hate both of them. I hate it that they made the whole thing worse for us. They are just like any other human being, only care of their bloody selves and don't give a damn on the effect on me and my brothers.

Which is exactly what I had decided, to me, my parents are dead. These 2 people acting like they are my parents, can to hell as far as I'm concerned. They cause me and my brothers nothing but chaos, misery, feeling like we don't belong, not liked by either one of our parents. I really don't understand how and why are they doing this without pausing to think, even for a fraction of second about me and my brothers, about how we feel. Believe me, its not a very nice place to be, and nowadays, I just dread the thought of going home, whether when I'm in school, tuition, church, Sunday School, no matter where I am, I just never wanted to go back home. But I don't exactly have a choice now, do I??

Bottom line, my dad won't be coming back, not now, not ever. And nothing will ever be the same again. Our lives would be filled with lies, secrets, and putting up acts to show that everything is fine. The past 3 weeks, anyone who enquired where was my dad, we just lied. We kept on doing this for so long, that lying to anyone, is like a second nature to us. On Friday, I realised that I've been lying to everyone so many times about the whole situation, until I finally realised that I was lying to myself, lying to myself that everything was going to be okay, lying to myself that I feel absolutely fine. When I'm so not. I really don't know how I am going to get through this, but I certainly don't want to tell my best friends all these problems I'm having, they have been there for me for so long, and I think its time I should handle all of this on my own.

Good luck to me for that!! For I know its never going to be easy, already I've let my guard down so many times this past week, and I just hope I can control myself better, which I'm currently doubting at the moment. I guess that's about it then, ciao!!

-aNgELiNe-

*signing off*

Interact I.U. Day - Nautical

Haven't blog in the longest time, LoL, only 2 weeks. Went to Interact I.U. Day yesterday, honestly, I'll give it a rate of 6/10. No offence to the Interactors!! I thought Zamaera and Li Hui did REALLY well, especially Zamaera. Who knew she could sing so well?? Azielia's performance was also really good. However, the 2 bands that perform wasn't really good, maybe they ARE good, but the PA system wasn't really good. So mostly we could hear the drums and guitars more than the singing. Jerica and her partner danced really well too. As for the decorations, I'll have to say it was really nice, especially the banner hanging on stage. The food wasn't half bad either. Random picture of me, took it in the afternoon, was bored.

Before going for I.U. Day, we had a trip to Compassion Home (orphanage) in the morning, organised by LEO Club. Janice was like really freaking out on the whole thing, as she is Asst. Community Service Director. Pn. Julie kept asking her to just CALM DOWN. Was actually kinda hillarious when I think back. Had a blast there. We sang songs, danced the Chicken Dance and all sorts of things. Gave them goodie bags at the end of it. Took me 3 hours to finish doing 11 goodie bags. Its not exactly and easy task. But, it was worth it when I saw the look the orphans had when we distributed the bags.

Lastly, since my last post, I'm currently having a hard time adjusting to the new environment I'm in. To be more specific, after the 'fight' my dad had with my mum in the car on the way to church, my dad LEFT. I was so torn up by the whole thing. Even now, I still can cry when I think about it, which is almost everyday. My mum also made the decision not to go to London with us. Despite everything, I know my dad still cares a lot about my mum, one can even go the length of saying he STILL loves her. Most of you would wonder why I'm being so weird out by the fact that my dad still loves my mum, well, its because my mum can be a REAL pain MOST of the time, one can even say she CAN ACT like a bitch most of the time. I know, its not right to say such a thing about one's parent, but that's a fact. A fact others will understand if they know my mum's true nature.

Well, the worst part is I KNOW my mum HATES my dad. Its so obvious, by the way she talks about my dad, the way she can be so spiteful and sacarstic just really TICKS ME OFF!!! I just HAVE to keep my trap shut, and go on like this till I finish college or something, then I can GET AWAY FROM HER!!! I absolutely hate her if I was honest with myself, all she has done is ruin this family, and she has the NERVE to tell other people, including us, that it was my DAD who created all the trouble!!! Me and my brothers know full well that she is ALL TO BLAME!!

I guess that's about it, then. Now I have tons of work to do, the housework now is divided between me and my brothers. Till next post then, ciao!!

P.S. Those who are so VERY CURIOUS in reading the blog that has been posting all kinds of news in SMKSJ, here is the URL : http://shizonsj.blogspot.com (They prefer to think themselves as 'Broadcasters')

-aNgELiNe-

*signing off*

Tiresome.

What a tiring week. This week was SO NOT my week. I was actually okay on Monday and Tuesday, with exceptional cases of angry outbursts from my mum, then I fell sick on Wednesday. But, because it was photo shoot day, I went to school despite my frail condition. Liz was on duty the whole day, for she's in the Editorial Board.

During Chemistry, we were suppose to be doing 3 experiments in 15 minutes. Simple experiments. But I was so darn tired, and I was having fever, so Dhavina and Thineshwary let me rest while they did the experiments. Teacher was like, 'Don't sleep Angeline!! After I will get scolding!!'. I was like....I don't care larh, I'm SICK!!! Both girls kept asking me if I wanted to go home, but I said no, for I wanted to be IN the class picture!!

So, took the class photo in the Gazebo, I had to sit down all because I'm Head of Class Decoration. I never liked siting down during class photos, so I grudgingly sat down when Liz ordered me to. Our freestyle picture was quite funny, what with Mr.Sim going to the back and posing with the guys!! After recess, I slept throughout English, and the Add Maths, just pretended to listen to teacher. I really had no mood, I really felt so sick, was having a fever the entire time, but tried my best to ignore it.

BUT, I couldn't really ignore it when it was time to change to Leo uniform at 12.30pm for the Leo photo. Changed in the library, was having a really hard time to keep up with the girls, for they were walking up and down from here to there, I seriously felt like fainting, but I held on the walls and stuff for support. Later, went down to the hall for that's were the picture was going to be taken. Now, that's when trouble starts. We were asked to line up and stand there for close to 45 minutes waiting for our turn. The hall was so hot, the sun outside also so hot, and I was having a FEVER!!! I kept telling Ashley that if they didn't give us our turn soon, I'm seriously going to faint, and I was NOT kidding. Plus this Pn. Chong was going on and on about our white blouses MUST be plain, not having and stripes or any pattern, regardless of the fact that its still white. UGH!! Now wasted right, we all buy our blouses?? She's a real pain larh. Now I've got to go get a NEW one!! And to make matters worst, I'm currently BROKE!!! =(

Finally, it was our turn. Then after the picture, I went to the canteen to take my bag so that I could go home. Only then did I realise that I wasn't in any good condition to walk in the blazing hot sun back home for my legs were seriously numb. I panicked for a while, then I just sat for about 10-15 minutes with Janice and Ashley. Then I went back, safely.

Skipped school on Thursday. Seriously could not bring myself to go to school in such a condition. Did the flier for Shatish, which now I'm not sure he is going to use it, for Pn.Chong doesn't want secretaries for the I.U. project, which suites me just fine, since I absolutely loathe working with a person like her, but Shatish still wants me and Mei Shia, my assistant, to help out with I.U. , so I guess I'll still help out, after all, I am a Leo member, right?? Its the least I could do for him, I honestly pity him, I for one, can NEVER stand working with her!!

Today, told Liz, Janice, Ramona, Ashley and John some news that would really interest them. More like a rumour I heard. I can't say what it is, but it really affects us. We were practically discussing it in the morning when the teachers were having a meeting, and the prefects kept trying to tell us to get back to our class, but we didn't really noticed till Ramona pointed it out. Had Leo meeting, I ended up as the last person standing in the game we played, so I and 4 others had to sing the Leo song in front of everyone. Wasn't too bad, was quite fun actually, plus got a Soya Bean from Liz later, and I absolutely LOVE Soya Bean!! =D

The highlight of the day for me is that I absolutely CANNOT BELIEVE that I actually TALKED to 'him'. I seriously did not know what had gotten into me, I just saw him standing there, and I just forgot for a moment about everything, and I just asked him something, and he in returned answered me. Only when I was going up the stairs to Leo meeting with Ashley did I realise what I just did. Ashley was also so shocked. I'm STILL in shock. LoL

Anyway, tomorrow will be a real happening day. I've got the painting the parking lines project tomorrow, and then the training of new librarians. In light of everything that happened last week, I'm not really sure of how things will go tomorrow, what with my mum don't want my dad going to church anymore and I making the decision that I will also not go after the fight. Well, let's just see what happens then. One thing's for sure, I'm NOT going to LIKE it.

Gabe is going roller blading tomorrow!!! So lucky!!! I'm SO jealous!! I also wanna go!! But, I've got tons of things to do...

That's about it, then!! Ciao!!

-aNgELiNe-

*signing off*